Fingers at the Table

– a Review of Basic Dining Etiquette

While out at a restaurant with my husband, I happened to observe a couple dining with a teenage boy, perhaps their son. They were well dressed and seemed familiar with formal dining, so I was startled to see the woman use her thumb to push food onto her fork while her knife remained idle on the table beside her plate. I couldn’t help but wonder about the state of etiquette in our society and how such a basic rule could be so easily forgotten.

Perhaps the prevalence of fast food restaurants and finger foods has blurred the lines between eating with utensils and eating with our hands? And, of course, there are situations, even in fine dining, when using fingers is acceptable and even a necessity; however, in no situation are fingers deemed a good substitute for a knife. Pushing your food with your fingers is akin to licking your fingers or chewing with your mouth open and, in many situations, you will be judged on the basis of that behaviour.

Good etiquette is based on the circumstance and using your hands to eat is acceptable in many cultures and in some casual dining situations. So, you may wonder, when is it appropriate to use your fingers at a North American or European table that has a proper place setting? As a general rule of thumb (pun intended), when you are provided with a knife, fork, and spoon, use the provided utensils to eat your food unless the food is awkward to eat with utensils or a finger bowl is provided for washing your fingers afterwards. If you have trouble getting food onto your fork, use your knife or a piece of bread to push it on and never push food with your fingers.

Foods generally accepted as finger foods:

• Bread
• Pizza
• Sandwiches, unless covered with a sauce
• French Fries (in fine restaurants it is still preferable to use a fork. Also use a fork if they French Fries have gravy or another sauce.)
• Fried chicken
• Barbeque Ribs
• Crispy bacon
• Corn on the Cob
• Artichokes
• Asparagus
• Small fruits such as grapes or berries

Our table manners speak volumes about us. Although this couple may not care what the other restaurant patrons thought of them at that time, they are also fostering poor dining etiquette habits and modelling them to their son, who may repeat the same faux pas in the future and possibly in a situation where other people’s judgements matter more such as a business dinner with potential clients.

Bus Etiquette

— Traveling on Public Transit in Style

Many children take a bus to school and, as with any public situation, following basic rules of etiquette helps to make the experience more enjoyable for everyone.

Whether your child takes a school bus or uses public transportation, the start of the school year is a good time to review these etiquette rules related to taking buses:

Getting on the bus

While waiting for a bus, it is most polite to form a line. When the bus arrives at the stop, everyone can then board the bus in an orderly fashion without pushing or shoving to get on.

It is not acceptable to arrive late and join friends at the front of the line to board the bus ahead of others who were waiting. However, it is extremely considerate to allow elderly people or people with disabilities to board the bus ahead of you, even if they arrived later.

Where to sit

Children often want to sit beside their friends, but it’s not always possible. If one should see another child sitting on their own, it can be considerate to sit with them, so they are not left out.

On a public bus, it is important to note any seats that are specifically reserved for elderly passengers or those with disabilities and to vacate those seats when they are needed.

Being respectful of others

Although students may be excited to see and talk with their friends, they should keep their voices low so they don’t distract the driver or other passengers. The same is true for the volume of MP3 Players or iPods. Other people should not be able to hear music played through head phones.

When the bus is moving, passengers should be in their seats or holding on to the available bars or straps. If they are sitting in an aisle seat, feet must be out of the aisle so other passengers can easily get past them.

If the bus has many empty seats, it is acceptable to place belongings on an empty seat, but if another passenger needs the seat, belongings should be removed immediately.

Needless to say, writing on the bus seats or walls, using coarse language, or throwing things on the bus are extremely poor etiquette.

Riding the bus is a privilege that should not be taken for granted. Remind your child that as they travel to and from school they are representing their school, their family, and youth in general.

Whenever students are in public, they need to be aware of and considerate to other people.

Working with a Real Estate Agent

Real Estate seems to be on people’s minds these days and I’m often asked if there is an etiquette for working with Real Estate Agents.

There is and, to provide more details, it is my pleasure to introduce the author of this guest post, Colleen Allen.

I know Colleen to be an upstanding real estate professional dedicated to serving her clients. I highly recommend that you check out her website and blog for interesting, up-to-date information about the real estate industry and her services.

With kind regards,
Elizabeth

For many people, dealing with real estate can be a stressful proposition. So it is no wonder that so many people turn to a Real Estate Agent for help. Real Estate Agents can identify homes best suited to your needs and desires, as well as navigate the complex transactions of real estate acquisition and sales. But, to be effective, the relationship between a Real Estate Agent and client must be based on mutual respect and trust, which is the essence of good etiquette.

A good Realtor forms a powerful team with their clients that make it possible for the client to have a smooth, successful, stress-free experience. Since Realtors are paid only when a sale occurs, they are putting their faith in their clients to follow through with their arrangement. It is very poor etiquette to engage a Realtor to identify suitable homes, provide their expertise and advice, and then to take the actual business to someone else.

Following these etiquette tips will help you develop an effective working relationship with your agent that is based on trust and respect:

• Work with only one real estate professional at a time.
• Be upfront with the agent and clearly communicate your requirements, limitations, and desires
• Ask questions and express any concerns you have about the process. In other words, communicate. If there is a problem, give the agent an opportunity to make adjustments and resolve the issue.
• If an agent is not working out, dissolve the arrangement before you engage another agent.

Of course, if you are limited to working with only one agent, you want to be sure that agent is the most suitable for your needs and that they are qualified to handle the complex transactions of real estate acquisitions and sales.

Before entering an agreement with a Real Estate Agent, use these tips to find an agent who is right for you:

• Ask your friends and business associates for recommendations.
• Check the reputation of the brokerage firm.
• Go to several open houses and talk to the agents. You may find someone you would like to work with.
• Look for an agent who is familiar with the area you want to live in; Note “For Sale” signs in prospective neighborhoods and the name of the representing agent.
• Review ads in your local newspaper;
• Note how you feel when you talk to the agent. Are you comfortable asking questions? Does she listen to your needs and seem genuinely interested in helping you find the right home or get the best price for your property?
• Verify the Realtor’s track record. What training does he have? How long has he been in business? Does he have references from buyers he has worked with? What do previous customers think about his performance?
• Ask questions about the housing market and financing options. Do her answers make sense and align with your understanding and what other Realtors are saying?
• Ask the Realtor bluntly what he/she will do for you.

Once you have selected a real estate agent, always be honest and upfront with them. Don’t hold back information. Remember that you are on the same team and ultimately have the same goal.

Colleen Allen is a Realtor in the Lower Mainland/Fraser Valley area. Her business is focused on building relationships and long standing client care. She believes that the cornerstone of these and all relationships is based on trust. If you are considering buying or selling real estate, visit Colleen’s website at www.colleenproperties.com and find out what she can do for you.

Looking for a unique gift idea?

This question was posed to me some time ago and, again, by someone quite recently,

“Next week I will be meeting my, soon to be, Step-Mother for the very first time.  I would like to buy her a gift but have no idea what to buy. Do you have any suggestions?”

A beautiful bouquet of flowers is always a welcome gift, by all, except for those who have allergies. An alternative, and more personal option, is a Silver or Crystal Picture Frame. Rather a nice selection can be found in a good Jeweller’s Shop.  They will also professionally gift wrap it for you, which is a nice added touch.

A suggestion for the gift card, “To dear (NAME)  “Welcome to our Family” With warmest best wishes, (SIGN YOUR NAME).

Most important, take your Camera with you for this important occasion. If you don’t have one, buy a cheap disposable Camera. Whether you are meeting at a Restaurant or a Coffee Shop there is always someone close by who will be willing to take a family photograph. Explain to your, soon to be, Step-Mother (after she has opened the gift) that the photograph will follow; completing, in my opinion, the perfect gift. Along with something one cannot buy, the warm & welcoming smile and nice compliments.

The family circle will be joined well before the next big occasion – The Wedding Day!